this afternoon

I’m sitting in my unair-conditioned apartment, checking Craigslist for writing/editing jobs, and it only just occurred to me that it was a completely unorganic and possibly ridiculous way to look for a job. I haven’t done anything that could prove to any objective person that I can write well; while I’ve been told I can, and I think I can as well, I have no concrete proof.

However, it also seems somewhat inevitable that I should be sitting in my uncomfortably warm apartment on a cloudy Friday in July, idly clicking on job ads and trying to picture myself in each role. It seems like most of the ones I am qualified for (having no experience or certification) would require a total personality transplant for me to perform successfully—by which I mean not going berserk and setting fire to my desk. I have no concerns over being able to manage the duties involved, just very real worries about being imprisoned for arson.

Plus, I would need an entirely new wardrobe.

Being broke and unemployed is my own fault; at the end of April I quit my job and blew all my savings on a trip to Europe. I don’t regret it; I just wish the exchange rate was more favourable.