Sunday, August 26, 2007

CRAB!!

I confess to being slightly unnerved today. I decided that I should probably get around to doing some dishes--all I really use these days are water glasses and coffee mugs, and the occasional bowl and spoon for cereal--so I put on my coffee maker and got to it. At the bottom of my sink was my good knife. It's one of the knives that comes with its own sharpener dealy. When did I take it out? I can't for the life of me remember, or even fathom what I might have used it for.

Here are my hypotheses:
  1. I'm blacking out so hard from drinking binges that I don't even remember drinking at all, and made a meal while intoxicated
  2. a murderer broke in, found a weapon, and got bored/lazy and left
  3. I'm being sent a really ambiguous message by my superintendent
  4. I left my dishes so long that they've gained sentience, and are sloooowly gearing up to take over
  5. some asshole jerk is using my kitchen while I'm out, and can't even be bothered to do ALL his dishes... jerk
This is really bugging me now. The only other people who've been in here recently are Jo and my family. And I could have sworn that none of them were rummaging through my kitchen drawers. Subtle threats ARE just my sister's style, however.

Speaking of Em, she sent me the following. The second part is my favourite, but all instances of slow-motion man-hugging make me pretty happy.

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