breaking news

I have discovered a fabulous show! Groomed. They take some "unpolished" man and gentleman him up! Full of staged phone calls and conversations between "experts" illustrating important "plot" points and, most importantly, MAKEOVERS! Hurray! I love makeovers. Cue the makeover song from Clone High, please. Wow, this guy looks nothing like he did before! They reveal him at his wedding... if I were the bride, I would have been so confused, because jeeeesus, he looks so different.

There's something to be said for the social graces. If I could, I'd take a finishing school crash course. Maybe I'll look into that. I mean, if you've got a solid grasp of etiquette, you can't really be thrown for a loop in most situations. You can behave like a lady. People would say, admiringly, "She's a real lady." I think I read more Austen than is healthy.

I'd still reserve the right to cuss like a sailor, though.