Thursday, April 12, 2007

I walk the floor and watch the door, and in between I drink black coffee

Another sign that I'm watching too much TV is that I nearly boycotted several brands of toilet paper purely because I hate their commercials. Then I said, wait a second, Susan... you hate all toilet paper commercials. Just buy some damn TP.

Not that this is going to have any impact on their sales at all, but I'm also boycotting Viagra. Those commercials annoy the shit out of me.

While I'm doing a list of things I'm ineffectually boycotting, I'm never going back to the Second Cup near my place. I ordered a large Mocha Red Eye, then cooled my heels, rocking out to my iPod. It seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of time. The guy mumbled something about whipped cream, so I leaned around the appliances that were blocking my view. There was some kind of chocolatey iced concoction taking shape on the counter. "Er... I asked for a Mocha Red Eye. You know, the hot one? A coffee with chocolate and espresso?" Then we had a polite-ish argument over whether or not eye meant iced. We condescended at each other for a few minutes; I pointed at my eye, he told me that when people ask for ice, that means he puts it on ice.... It's just too much to deal with when I need a hardcore caffeine fix. I eventually got my coffee, but I'm pretty sure that man thinks I'm an idiot, and will complain about me to his friends and family.

But I love those Mocha Red Eyes too much to never go back to Second Cups in general. Just that one. I think I'll glare at it every time I walk by for the next couple weeks, until I get over it. You know, just for kicks.

6 comments:

Peter Lynn said...

I hated the "Good morning, good morning" Viagra commercial for two reasons: First, the first two women are sexually desirable MILF-types, and then the matronly, mom-like crossing guard comes onscreen and makes me shudder. And second, the fat Jay Leno guy closing the door at the end just mugs to an intolerable degree. I get it, Iron Jay. You have a boner and you're going to have sex.

Also, I saw a guy on the Daily Show who's the father of a family who has, among other envornmentally responsible things, eschewed the use of toilet paper for the next year. I wonder how that's supposed to work.

Susan said...

I saw that guy on the Daily Show. I wasn't paying that much attention, though, so I totally didn't pick up on the toilet paper thing. Maybe they're using... leaves? I wonder if he says anything about it in his book.

Peter Lynn said...

Maybe he's using advance copies of his book. Or maybe they're all wearing cloth diapers and shitting themselves with abandon.

Peter Lynn said...

I am sorry for my previous comment.

Susan said...

And I'm ashamed that I'm still laughing.

Anonymous said...

just remember over the seas it's gonna be at least one-hundred degrees.