"The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied."*

I performed my civic and moral duty today and gave blood. I haven't in a long time; I feel somewhat embarrassed by that, actually. I'm healthy, after all, and I'm not really DOING anything with all that blood. Might as well let someone who needs it have it. The process makes me uncomfortable, but that's not really an excuse when people need transfusions and etcetera. Now my arm's a gigantic owie, and I'm having phantom needle sensations. However, awash in the glow of having done some good, I rewarded myself with a couple books and some expensive coffee.

This morning I opened at PM; as we all know, mornings have never been my forte. I've decided that I hate patios, patio furniture, security measures for patio furniture, people who insist on sitting on patios, pigeons, trees with tree mange, and fickle weather gods. None of this is NEW, exactly--it just comes up more forcibly when I have to deal with the above before noon. I think I'll try and get out of the waitressing biz before next summer rolls around, just to avoid having to deal with asshole patios. However, my one consolation is doing up the chalkboard with our specials: "THRILL to our BUTTERNUT SQUASH PUREE! Release your inner cowboy with our BULL'S EYE PRIME RIB SANDWICH! Got a VITAMIN WING DEFICIENCY?" This is the small joy my life affords; being overly enthusiastic about foods that very few people actually want, in order to subtly underline my dissatisfaction with the course of my existence. Most people don't get it.

I'm in a rut, and I know it. I'm going to sign up for pilates next week, because I have the misguided conviction that rock-hard abs will make my life materially better. I'm also leaning towards quitting the Meat Palace, just to simplify my work life. But as I fought with patio furniture this morning, I had the awful conviction that it was emblematic of my entire existence: ineffectual railing against an uncaring world, leading directly to death by tetanus poisoning. Alright, perhaps not the last bit. Or perhaps yes... METAPHORICALLY.

*Go on, name the quote.