It's the days when I'm hungover at work that all the crazies I can't deal with show up. This one man got oddly worked up when I asked him what he'd like to drink; he took about ten minutes to peruse our drink menu--this after his friend had decided on, ordered, and been brought a pint of Keith's. The second time I asked him, he actually looked like he might burst into tears about it. So I avoided him until he started staring at me impatiently as I moved around the patio. He ordered a pint of Budweiser. I emphasize that because we have eighteen different beers on tap. Irish beers, U.K. beers, Belgian beers, and many delicious premium domestics. The only worse thing he could have ordered was Bud Lite. Then, we had the following conversation.
MAN: (pointing at the menu) This caesar salad... what kind of dressing does it have?
ME: Uhh... caesar?
MAN: Yes, that one.
ME: Well, it's a caesar salad. It has caesar dressing.
MAN: (angrily) Is it creamy?
(pause)
ME: Have you had a caesar salad before?
MAN: (very annoyed) YES.
(pause, as I decide what expression to put on my face)
ME: Yes. It's creamy.
MAN: (flipping menu pages huffily) Hmph. Then I'll have a roast beef sandwich!
ME: (still trying to make sense of the conversation) Would you like a salad instead of the fries?
MAN: No!
Maybe I'm the crazy one, and this man is used to restaurants with vinaigrette caesar salads. But then there was the lady who complained because she'd gotten her hand caught in the soap dispenser in the ladies'. And several elderly couples who got unreasonably angry when I asked if they wanted to order some food. Then there was an older couple that parked themselves on the same side of the table, facing the length of the patio. I'm all for people-watching, but you'll get a more interesting view if you look out at the sidewalk, rather than stare down all the other people who are eating. At one point, the other server working came up to me and said, "Okay, it's your turn for the next table, but my turn for the next bunch of crazies, so let's figure out how we want to do this."
For some reason, I had a bunch of people lingering on the patio way past last call--I actually had to kick three tables out.
Also, in my continuing series of tips for not annoying your server, I'd like to mention that couples who are all over each other in restaurants are gross. Get a goddamn room. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't my JOB to make sure you don't need another drink; finding an opportunity to ask while you're necking so that I can get in a subtle hint for you to finish up and leave is pretty uncomfortable for yours truly. So, clearly, I'm going to do my best to make it uncomfortable for YOU.
In completely different news, I spent all my Shopper's Optimum points today. Retail therapy is even better when you're not actually spending real money!
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